In the past week, I've won any game I've played against another person. Weird, huh? I don't think it has anything to do, in particular, with skills, I just think the planets are aligned in my favour. Or something.

So, by now, I'm feeling rather impatient. I've just been waiting.. waiting for things to happen, waiting for things to begin, or end. Last night I was in a particularly pensive mood (riding in the back seat of a car on a highway will do that, I suppose). I just kept wishing that I could look into the future, to see what will happen with all this; to see if it's really worth all the worry I've allocated to it.

Christmas is over. I felt something strange this year. Seeing as how this is the one time of year I sort of enjoy going to church, I always open myself up for some sort of spiritual awakening, for some epiphanous moment (that's probably not a word, but I like it). This year, it all seemed rather empty, on a fundamental level. I started questioning the dogma of it all. Christians (and even more so, Catholics), loooove to worship, or at least get rather emotional, over people other than God. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, hehe. Being at church this year, I just felt people have forgotten God. It's like, we've given up trying to understand this other life force, so we've turned all our energies into worshiping something more human, more tangible, more like us. Maybe that was God's plan, but for me, Jesus should be a vessel through whom to understand God, not a vessel onto himself.

All of my teachings at Sunday School has preached this relationship - that they are all one God, but I think, somehow, it's easier for people to forget God and worship his cooler, younger son.

Huh?

I guess the conclusion to all this is that I don't consider myself a Christian, if the fundamental belief of Christians is that Jesus was God's son. I don't know if he was, and even is he was, I think God should come first. I do believe in God, but I guess for now that is where my faith ends. And that's okay with me.